Notecards...Post-It's...Flowcharts...OH MY!

Well, I haven't been successful at the blogging every day thing, but I will give myself props for blogging three times in the past week. That's like...a record for me these days. (g) Especially given that I haven't blogged since MAY. :)

The title of this post says it all. I am in...outlining...flowchart...don't know what you call it exactly...hell. I realized very quickly this week that the problems I've often complained about in the middle of FI were NEVER fixed, and that essentially I had to address them now or I'd be forever rowing in circles with this book. It's so funny! I can't tell you the number of times I've looked at this section, the number of times I thought I had it JUST RIGHT...and yeah, it was NEVER right. I simply kept skating over the issue. In essence, hoping the dang book would fix itself as I went through pass after pass.

Uh yeah...not quite.

So instead of the writing I was hoping to get in, I've had to put the brakes on and head back to the basics.

But but but...I think I've finally had a breakthrough! Sadly, it means cutting a couple of scenes I absolutely love. :( The good news is that with the changes I'm making -- some basic reordering of scenes -- the tension level should get a nice little boost.

I'm trying to see the positives.

1. Essentially the first 1/3rd of the book is set in stone and won't see any of the ripples these changes will send out.

2. I have four scenes on the chopping block right now--and they may not all remain there. If I can salvage them, you bet your bottom I will.

3. Character motivations are much clearer with scenes laid out in this new order. It may cause them to be a bit less sympathetic, but they're definitely true to who they are and what forces drive them to act. And yeah, maybe readers will finish this book a little ambivalent about who they're cheering for, but alas, don't you love a comeback story? Yeah, me too. :)

4. I'm THAT much closer to getting to some actual writing, which I'm now itching to do in a major way.

So yes...progress, though not the kind I had intended to have by now.

That said -- tomorrow I'm going to go back through my proposed changes...write up a chart of just what I want to happen, and basically see if it all still makes sense in the light of day. Cross your fingers for me! Hopefully I'll keep working in my dreams and wake up ready to pound this puppy out. :)

A Rough Re-Entry

Well, I wish I had a ton to report on the writing front.. but yeah, there isn't much to say. I kinda flubbed it. I think I just got freaked out by the prospect of jumping in again, and let my nerves get the better of me.

I did open up a new scene... toyed with it a for a few, but kept getting distracted. Then I said... better luck tomorrow. *rolls eyes* Sunday I was sick all day... Today I had some obligations I had to take care of (where do they come from, I ask you?).

That said, there is Still Time tonight. I'm vowing to work on it, no matter how much I would rather pick up a book and get lost in the "easy words" (snrk -- don't the really great ones make it look SO easy, tho??) of someone else's world. I'll tell you what.. UNDER THE DOME has been calling my name in a big way, and holy heck, I really shouldn't even think of beginning that monster during this WRITING vacation. Yet... it's voice is So. Loud. Bah!!!

No no no... FI. FI. FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII!!!

Okay, I'm off to work. Wish me luck!

And Finished!

Comments and suggestions on Manuscript #2 are written and sent, flying through the web ethers as I type this message. YAY. Excellent excellent week (or two) of reading.

Now...NOW, I am ready to jump back in the FI fray.

WHOOT.

A Step Behind...Or Two

Well, I had the best of intentions to finish both MS's from my peeps...not to mention other reading...and plotting out that screenplay, etc. Ummm...yeah.

Didn't quite happen the way I had planned.

Why? Two Words: FOOD COMA.

I was in one for most of the weekend. I swear... Turkey Day is a diabetic nightmare! I'm lucky to have survived not one, not two, but THREE different kinds of pie. My family can eat, y'all. I kid you not. That, coupled with a bit of a family emergency -- well, a rather BIG family emergency that thankfully turned out okay, and my weekend was shot.

That said, I DID manage to finish one of the manuscripts and will hopefully get started on the second tonight. After that, I'm afraid the screenplay will have to wait...as will other books. I will be back at work on FI and hopefully gutting my way to the end. I'm feeling rather energized. :)

Hope you all had a lovely holiday!

A Lightbulb Moment

I'm doing this and I may regret it later, but...

I'm officially declaring the First Draft of FAKING IT COMPLETE. Yes, yes I am.

Nothing has really changed since yesterday, but I realized I've been thinking of the book in terms of rewrites/revisions for a very long time now. But with the new completed outline/synopsis (YAY), there's been a switch in my head. I'm not rewriting/revising the original book...I'm rewriting/revising THIS draft. My first draft. Dang it, it's a DRAFT*, even if all the little holes aren't neatly filled, or if there are whole scenes that need to be changed. It's 85K (probably more...I'm not really sure anymore) of First Draft.

And to go along with my post over at ATWOP today, it DOESN'T ALL SUCK. Some of it does...some of it will be tossed...but it's DONE.

YAY.

I feel better.

*You must remember that I haven't really been in this place before. I queried my first draft of the original Faking It. And when I "revised" I added....didn't do much of that subtracting business...and polished, polished, polished. Drafts??

Productive Weekend

So, I'm super busy right now, but I vowed I would keep working as much as I can. And dangit, one of these days, I'm going to announce that FI is finished. Whether that will be SOON is another thing. I'm literally scraping the bottom of the time barrel to get any work accomplished, but it is moving FORWARD. At a glacial pace, yes, but forward nonetheless.

I spent a good chunk of this weekend going through and figuring out any changes I want to make to the MS. Yes, I did a summary of sorts...not really an outline, but a verbatim telling of the story as I see it at this point. It's running close to 10 pages right now, will probably end up with 2-3 more by time I'm finished. It's been a good exercise, though much hair loss has occurred at regular intervals. Especially when I'm at a loss for what should/would come next...or when I realize that a very large chunk of the book doesn't quite make sense with my "new vision." That said, it's all coming together regardless. I may lose a few things if I can't pound them in, but that's okay. Gotta do what's best for the book. The good news is that there are VERY large chunks that will stay pretty much as they are...with minor tweaks. For that I'm very grateful.

So...progress. YAY. Now if I could just find more time... LOL.

Happy writing, all. And good luck to any Nano participants!

Howdy!

I don't really have much to blog about right now. Working a lot...sleeping when I can...doing VERY LITTLE writing. It's a huge bummer, but I seriously don't have any energy right now. That said, I'm trying to get into the right frame of mind per Cindy's post tonight. HERE.

Everything she says in this post is right on the money. We're all busy people. We all have a dozen balls we're trying to juggle all at once and whenever we even think we might--or heaven forbid actually DO--drop one of them, we start playing the blame game with ourselves. The "should have" game:

I should've tried harder. I should've slept less. I should've been done with this blasted book By Now. I SUCK!!

Well, folks. We don't suck. We're just letting negativity have a little too much say in our lives. The truth of the matter is...yeah, we could've done a few things differently, but what the heck good is it going to do to keep dwelling on the past? The only thing you can worry about is what you're doing Right Now. That said, I'm with Cindy. BABY steps. Forward motion. That's all I'm going to worry about. The end is there -- someday. I just have to reach out to meet it and stop expecting to jump to the front of the line without working for it.

Okay...who's with us? :)

Rough Waters

Okay, after regrouping to work on FI again, I had to face the fact that I had one very serious plot point that was throwing the whole works topsy-turvy. One little piece that could sent my sad little house of cards a tumblin' down. I had to fix it. I had to brainstorm. I had to come up with SOMETHING to explain why certain events go down the way they do. Cuz, frankly, if I couldn't, I wasn't sure I could make the book believable in the end. And let's face it, I've had a hard time doing that to begin with! LOL.

I digress.

Anyway, I've known about this particular issue for a LOOOOOOONG time. And I've switched this or that...tried to look at things from different character POV's...squinted really hard at the screen and jumped up and down like a kangaroo on crack.. I've done it all to try and figure some way around this roadblock. And I've continuously hit the same brick wall. Over and over and over and over again.

Eventually I just kinda said to heck with it. It will work itself out eventually. HA. It never did. :)

But....EUREKA!! I've had a breakthrough. And I owe it all to Tricia and her inquisitive nature. :) Seriously, all it took was for her to ask just the right question at the right time and my little synapses were firing like mad. She seriously solved a problem that has plagued me for months on end! How awesome is that?

Now, I'm not guaranteeing it will be smooth sailing from here on out, but things are definitely going in the right direction.

So, thank you, Tricia! You rock! (And you have MORE than redeemed yourself!) Thanks.

The Attitude I'm Trying To Adopt!

Man, could they make videos back then, or what??

Changing Of The Hat!

In Superman fashion, Jen ducks into the closet, emerging a moment later wearing her FI cap.

Shazaam.

Denver's Almost Here!

I leave for Denver on Thursday! I can't wait to see all the Gnomies again!

I'll admit to still being extremely nervous. It's my first conference ever and I have that scheduled crit with Kristin Nelson. BAH. I'm very, very skerred. And excited. :)

That said, I'm still pounding the keys -- have to get this draft of FI as close to completion as possible. It's getting there. Honest. Every day it looks more and more like an actual book. It's so thrilling to see the end in sight. That said, I can't let up.

I have a ton of things to do this week in preparation, not the least of which is reading all the other submissions for KN's crit circle. I've been a bit of a slacker, but I must get to those soon. I'm also trying to figure out what goodies to bring to the conference -- we're doing a cookie exhange. I think I'm going for sugar free cheesecakes. I know, I'm cheating. But cheesecake is my favorite thing in the world, and they'd be bite-sized like cookies. (g) And total yum!

Still not listening to any books...have cheated a little on paper books. I read the HUNGER GAMES by Suzanne Collins a while back, have started Book 7 (you know the one), and have dipped a toe into THE DEMON'S LEXICON by Sarah Rees Brennan. All of them I have enjoyed and/or am enjoying _a great deal_. But I'm trying to limit reading. It's a very, very difficult thing to do. Especially when the sequel to HUNGER GAMES just came out!!!! Ack.

Anyway, just thought I'd pop on for a minute. I have the next two days off and plan to get a lot of work under my belt.

Ciao.

Fall Is Coming!

I feel it in the air, and I can't wait!

If all goes according to plan, FI will be completed and I can work on revising BTPM. It's the perfect time of year to get back to my lovely werewolves. Yay.

I love this time of year!

First Three...

...chapters of FI are out with betas. O.M.G. It's like I've never been through this before, I'm THAT nervous. And it's only 40 pages! Just wait until the whole MS goes shooting out across email. I'll need medication.

Houston, We Have Progress!

I finished my rewrite of the opening chapters. It's been a long struggle, but I THINK I have it just the right way. All it needs is a spit-shine. Then off to readers it goes!

I really hope people enjoy it. It has a real shocker of an ending that I LOVE.

Whew... what a relief. Now on to the next section. Should get a little easier...SHOULD. (g)


YAY.

Music choice tonight?

Soundtracks for Chocolat, Wyatt Earp, Gettysburg, and Waterworld. Random, right? I find orchestral is best. I don't know the music well enough to hum or sing along. (g)

Status

I'd post this if I could, but it's copyrighted and costs lots of money.

But....THIS...this represents my current state of mind with FAKING IT.

Hiatus

I'm probably going to be pretty scarce for the next few weeks. I'm pushing hard on FI, hoping to have it completed and in at least semi-decent shape before the Rocky Mtn. conference, which begins...eeek...Sept 11th! That's very, very soon, people!

I know you're saying to yourself...but Jen, you're hardly around now!

I know, and I apologize! LOL. It's summer...busy with work. Busy with life. And man, time is just flying by.

I'm not only staying away from blogger. There are other things I'm trying to cut down on. This includes books...*cries* I mean both the paper and audio variety here. My read list for 2009 is dismal, but I've been listening like mad. Even those are going off. I need to keep my characters and story at the forefront, and I have a theory that jumping back and forth between my world and others is pushing up one extra barrier that I just don't need right now.

So, it's music only from now on. I'll also be scarce from compu. I apologize for my lack of response to July X's...and my absence from the houseparty. You know I love me a good houseparty...but alas, it's just too time consuming right now. I'll also probably forego activities with my Gnomies. I WILL be checking in at MA. I need someone to crack the whip for me. :)

Anyway -- I hope everyone's summer is going well. I have a lot of things I'd like to blog about, but alas, they'll have to wait!

Wish me luck for the final push. This IS it. :)

Inspiration Anyone?

I'm on a roll with FI. The beginning is shaping up nicely and my advance reader (Jenna) has been pretty happy with the results so far. That said, I still have a ways to go before I'm satisfied. Of course, once the beginning is addressed, I'll need to tuck into the last 3/4ths of the book. It's not going to be pretty, but at least I feel rejeuvenated. Maybe this high will carry me through to the end.

I've set a quasi-deadline for the opening chapters. Next week. LOL. Who knows, it could happen. I have readers waiting, so I better get crackin'.

I'm still putting together my playlist. It's coming along...slowly. LOL. I find that I'm not necessarily "inspired" by certain songs -- as least not in regards to a specific scene. That whole "hear a song and write a scene" thing just doesn't seem to be my bag. What I do find is that certain songs start my brain churning and ideas seem to come more readily when I'm listening to them. I have no idea why. My brain is weird. This has been established by now, yes?

The latest additions, and don't you DARE laugh! They show my age.

The first is 'Mercenary' by the Go-Go's. *blink*

I have no idea why, but when this song cranks through my iPod, story ideas start flowing. The lyrics don't necessarily pertain to the book itself...well, maybe in a distant way...but the fact that it's helping is just plain ole' weird.

And don't you dare make fun of me for liking the Go-Go's! You know you wanted to have The Beat when you were a kid. We all did.



Oh...love the clothes, love the dancing...love the solos. MMMM, the 80's. Alas, no Mercenary...but just as good.

The second is 'Hook' by Blues Traveler.

I've always loved this song and it seems to be sparking ideas. That's doubly awesome for me. :)


Know what's made of even more awesome? The fact that I recognize the guy on the couch -- he hosted Remote Control. Good Gawd, I'm old.

In celebration, I think it's time for a little teaser... hmm. The first page perhaps?

Excerpt from FAKING IT (c) 2009

I’ve always known my boobs would be my downfall. There hasn’t been a day since my mom returned home with my first training bra—a size B, when I was 11!—that I haven’t wished the damn things would just fall off. But I must admit, some days they do have their advantages.

Others? Not so much.

On this particular day, I wanted nothing more than to get off work so I could lounge on my couch with a pint of Ben & Jerry’s. To say it had been a sh!t day would be an understatement. I was tired, sweaty, and not a little pissed off at life in general. Color me happy when John McCormick picked that day, of all days, to sidle up to me out of the shadows and ask me to go for a little ride. I wanted to tell him no. Hell, I wanted to tell him to f@ck off, but when duty called, I answered. I’m a professional after all, albeit a grumpy one.

My problems began when I slipped back inside the locker room, using the excuse that I had forgotten my cigarettes, and discovered my pants didn’t have any pockets. I stood in a stinking bathroom stall, mini-recorder in hand, and cursed at myself for being unprepared.

Regardless, I knew I couldn’t use this little snafu as an excuse.

Left with no other option, I did the only thing I could do. I jammed the recorder into the hollow between my breasts and prayed like hell that my bra would hold the small device in place. When I returned to McCormick, the weight and chill of the recorder against my skin, I immediately regretted my hasty decision. The man’s eyes began to drill holes into my chest at a distance of fifty feet, and they hadn’t strayed since.

“You drive,” he said, flicking his glance up to my face before dropping them back down to my chest.

I stifled my knee-jerk response and brushed past him without a word. When I was sure he couldn’t see, I rubbed the heel of my hand between my breasts, making sure the recorder was nice and snug in its hidey hole. It appeared secure enough, and I relaxed a notch—still on alert, but feeling more in control and prepared.

I’m such an idiot.

Not a minute after I parked my car down a deserted dirt road a few miles from the plant, the damn thing began to inch its way upward. It looked and felt like I was growing a third boob in the center of my chest.

Sh!t.

{end snip}

Happy writing everyone!

Encouraging News!

I'm getting some positive feedback on the new opening stuff. I've been concentrating on two major sections, and the bits I've shown around are going over well.

Then, last night Jenna was kind enough to read through everything I have. She said some very encouraging things and it looks like I'm definitely going in the right direction with these changes.

It'll be a while before I finish everything and smooth it out, but hopefully it will be soon. I'd love to send out the opening chapters to see what people think. I'm feeling really good about everything right now, and the gaps are slowly filling in. If I can get through this opening -- with all the cuts and losses -- I think I can definitely make it through anything. It was hard to let this stuff go, but in the end, it was likely for the best.

YAY.

Whoot Whoo!

Just wanted to pop in to share my excitement.

As I've mentioned earlier, I'm rewriting the beginning of FI. It's a decision that was hard to come to -- as I love my beginning. But inevitably, I had to face the fact that it just wasn't working as is. The writing isn't at the level the later stuff is, and it just didn't match the rest of the book quite the way I wanted it to.

So, begrudingly, I began a rewrite. I still wasn't 100% convinced I could let go of some of the original scenes. Some of them I LOVE...some of them are, let's face it...my darlings. And I didn't want to kill them.

When I was on my morning walk, that all changed. I started flipping through the possibilities and eventually I started seeing how the current scene I'm working on could play out...how it would affect this and this scene and make THIS scene fit better... How I could plant the seeds for some later stuff and, in the end, everything would tie together SO much better.

Why didn't I think of all this before??

Simple. My brain was. I just wasn't listening. :)

So yay. Here's to taking the leap even when you don't want to.

Kill your darlings. Kill 'em.

Beginnings

Well, it's been a while since I've looked at FI. I haven't really hashed over all of the stuff going on in real life -- it's too long of a story and frankly, a lot of it now runs my life and I'm grasping for some semblance of normal right now. Writing is my normal and I want more of it. That said, it's surprising and weird to go over FI -- some I love. Some I just hate. All of it has me completely excited to pull it out and finish, with some changes of course.

The main thing I want to change is the beginning chapters. I now see some of the problems others have brought up (hey, it's only taken a long absence to do it!). I'm basically planning to hack off the first 2-3 chapters and completely rework them. So far, I've decided to start at a different place, changed my mind back, changed it again -- etc etc -- about a bazillion times. It's frustrating, but fun. I've found myself losing my train of thought mid-conversation, mid-crisis-work-problem, mid-whatever, and I'll end up thinking about FI. That's a GOOD thing.

And wait for it....wait for it...

I'm putting together an *cough*outline*cough* -- which, in all honesty isn't really an outline. Well, okay, maybe it is, but being as 9/10ths of the book is finished, it's really just a cheat sheet to make sure I've got the timeline, etc. correct. *right* But it's something I've been meaning to do for a while -- I'll need one anyway so I can turn it into DA with The Book. Whooot whoo... That last bit got me rather excited. :) Yes, the end is there -- it's in sight. I just need to rush out to meet it!

No more excuses. And no more letting life get in the way. *firm nod*

*Says she who needs to put it into gear lest she be late for work!* LOL.

Toodles.